So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Why can't burritos get me drunk
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
