Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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