3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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