Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize