This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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