He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
