Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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