And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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