The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
