I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
