actually, I'm a sock model
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i don't like sucking hair
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's not a walk of shame if you run
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
