there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize