my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
