I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
