Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
