the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize