Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
