I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
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He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
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Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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