if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize