I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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