Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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