foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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