It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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