I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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