I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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