Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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