If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
