I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize