come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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