p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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