guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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