All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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