i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
