Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
