she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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