I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think people are normalizing furries
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
