I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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