"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
