All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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