the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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