Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
