I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
