marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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