he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
