im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
