escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
