P.S. I can't hear my feet
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
