are you still at the devil's house?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
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