I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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