Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Damn victory sex feels great
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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