Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
