I am puke
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
