He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
