do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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