can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
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the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
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Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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