I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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