he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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