Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
