I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
