yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
