I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
